i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
