Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
