ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
