i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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