so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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