Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
