Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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