Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
