I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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