I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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