He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
