Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize