I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
