We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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