six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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