You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
