We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
