i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just threw up on my dentist
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
