i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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