So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
