my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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