Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Shame - the story of my life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
