i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
