I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
