Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
