so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
