Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
