Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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