Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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