i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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