Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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