discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
