the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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