Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
