he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
