Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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