I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
