I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
