What did we do last night that was yellow?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
