it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
