It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
