I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I looked at my own cervix.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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