well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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