Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
