There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
