i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
