Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
