So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
