we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize