she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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