How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
They have beer where we have blood.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
