I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
