i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
