Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
