I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
