Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
