god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
