So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
