You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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