My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
