Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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