You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Its about making memories worth repressing
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
